Definitely A Trick

M: Let’s turn off the lights and get ready for bed. All Hallow’s Eve has come to an end.

E: Hey that rhymed.

M: Yeah, you like it. Hey, do you think we’ll get more candy beggars next year?

E: Trick or treaters, weirdo.

M: Boo, quit cramping my style.

E: What? No! I mean, I like how you’re weird.

[Cue electric toothbrushes]


E: Just ignore it, they’ll go away. I’ve turned off the porch lights.

[Toothbrushes off]


M: [After a moment, as M peeps out of the hole] They’re leaving just now.

E: Good. How many?

M: Just one. Something in black clothes.

E: Okay, I’m gonna lie down.

[M locked the house doors, and flicked off all the lights. While M dozed off in bed, they were in for a fright.]

M: [Halfway to dreaming] HELP *GASP [and unable to move] *GASP HELP [M sees a dark figure in the corner of their room]

[To say M was speaking would be a lie, M could not move, M could not even cry. M was somewhere between the world of dreams and the waking. Unable to signal distress, save for the breaths they were taking.]

M: [Now helpless and aware, moves their attention to the darkness and stares. It came to the bedside and sucked out M’s air, it was pinning M down and held M there. It gave off no noise and had no discernible figure, but it was there all the same and grew even bigger.]

E: M, hey M [and gives M a shake], you’re having a bad dream. Wake up.

M: HOOOW! [and gasps for air] What is going on?!

E: I don’t know. I kind of heard you breathing weird and thought you might be having a bad dream.

M: Turn on the light. Man, I need some light. Keep it on for a minute. Wow. I was having some sleep paralysis, I think.

E: Yeah, I think so. You’ll be okay.


M: Did you hear?

E: Hear what? [E turns on the light to find in their room a man dressed in all black]

E: Whu?

[That was wielding an ax]

B: Trick or treat! [They were done with two whacks.]

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